Am I Selfish?

There are a few people pregnant in my office. Obviously since I’ve been through pregnancy, they tend to ask me things, which I don’t mind at all. What inevitably happens next is the questions for me – when are we going to have number two?

It hasn’t been a secret that Chris and I want another baby sometime soon. I have several friends that are “one and done,” and while that’s amazing for them, I know it’s not us. I know the window of us starting to try for another baby is fast approaching, and to be honest, I’m a little scared.

Morning Coffee On Outside Cafe Table With Plant & Menu

Maybe scared isn’t the right word. Nervous, maybe? I’m not sure I’m ready to go through all of it again, not just yet. Please don’t think I’m saying I don’t like pregnancy – it isn’t that. I feel blessed I have (so far) been able to conceive and had a fairly easy pregnancy with Abbie. I remember those first little kicks and how it felt to meet her for the first time. That part – truly amazing. What makes me nervous is the other parts – most of all, sharing my body again.

I hate the way that sounds, because it sounds super selfish. I’m not a selfish person by nature, so I really struggle with putting myself first. But when you’re pregnant and nursing… your body isn’t yours. You’re sharing it with another person, and that means you can’t always do the things you want to do for yourself. For me, that thing is losing weight. After all, when you’re pregnant, you’re supposed to gain weight.

I think I did pretty well with my pregnancy with Abbie, gaining 36 pounds. That weight came off pretty quickly, and since then I’ve been working on the other weight, the weight I’ve been trying for years to lose. For the first time in a long time, it’s actually working – the scale has been consistently going down. I feel motivated. I feel proud of what I’m accomplishing. It’s slow, but it’s progress. That’s what I’m nervous about – putting a stop to all of that. I’m nervous about those numbers.

For a long time, I was over 200 pounds. When we got pregnant with Abbie, I was 211 pounds. I worked my butt off (literally, ha) to get under 200 pounds for a long time. I’ve finally gotten to a point that I’m under it with a little bit of a cushion, but it’s a little bit of comfort. I’m at the point that a bad week won’t put me there, but it’s as if I can still see it, hovering. Like when you pass something driving, but you can still see it in your rearview mirror. I’m trying to get it out of view, but I’m not quite there yet.

That puts me at my dilemma. Using 36 pounds as my estimate, that puts me over 200 again for a pregnancy. It’s something I don’t want. It’s unhealthy for me, unhealthy for a baby, and just plain would make me feel horrible to see that number again. I don’t want to see it. Once I got under that number, I never wanted to see it again. Anyone out there that has battled that milestone may understand… you just want it far, far away from you.

So, I wanted to be at least 36 pounds under 200 when I got pregnant again (164). While I’m getting there, there’s no magic that’ll get me there faster – I’m still 29.6 pounds away.

That brings me to the hardest part – do I really want to put off living my life and growing my family over a number that really only bothers me? After all, I could lose the weight afterward, right? I want to give Abbie a sibling, but I’m really having a hard time reconciling this number in my head, and our planned window of time for trying for number two is getting closer and closer. It’s creeping up on me before I feel completely ready – I feel emotionally, but not physically ready. Does that make sense?

I wanted to be all the way there when we tried for number two. I really thought when Abbie was born that I had plenty of time to get there, but it’s been a slower journey than I planned (always is, right?). Plus, there’s the fact that you just never know how long it’ll take to get pregnant – it could happen right away, or it could take months. Once we officially start trying, I could get pregnant immediately, or I could have a few months to continue getting healthier. There’s just no way to know.

So that’s where my head is lately on baby number two. I don’t know if I’m crazy, selfish, scared, nervous… I just don’t. But I’m not ready just yet. I’m hoping the next few months will change that.

My Favorite Weight Loss Tips

Good morning all! I hope you had a fabulous weekend! We had a full one, and now I’m ready to tackle another busy week.

I don’t know about you, but one of the hardest parts of my week is keeping a good handle on eating well and getting some exercise in. When you’re away from home for nearly 12 hours a day and have a toddler, it makes it difficult to balance. Despite that, I’ve been on a roll with my weight loss the past few weeks (down 1.6 in two weeks!), and I’m here to share with you what’s really been working for me. I’ve got 48.6 pounds to go, and I know these things are going to help get me there.

Favorite Weight Loss Tips

  1.  Track what you’re eating. This is probably the one you hear the most and the one you dread the most – but it’s also the one that works the most. The weeks that I’m good about tracking what I eat are usually my most successful – even if I’ve splurged a bit. If you don’t track what’s going into your mouth, it’s a lot easier to deny it or forget about it. Tracking really encourages you to look at your choices throughout the day and make adjustments as needed. It doesn’t even matter how you do it. You could use My Fitness Pal, Weight Watchers, paper and pencil… as long as you’re getting it down somehow. I personally like to utilize both Weight Watchers and My Fitness Pal. My Weight Watchers tracking is what I really go by to measure my week, but I love the community aspect of My Fitness Pal that allows you to cheer on your friends’ accomplishments and receive your own. It’s a little more work for me to track on both, but it works for me. Do whatever works best for you, but track every bite that goes in your mouth!
  2. Move more. This can be anything from workouts to just walking more, but just work on adding more movement to your day. I’m a big fan of my Fitbit, but do what works for you. In fact, I feel lost without my Fitbit. Without it, I wouldn’t even realize how much I was sitting around doing nothing, and I’ve now hit my goal of 12,000 steps a day every day since November 1st. I firmly believe all that movement is what kept holiday weight gain at bay for me. Every little bit counts. I’ve also got an app on my phone called Stand Up that I set to go off every 40 minutes during the workday.
  3. Drink water. Not soda, not coffee, not crazy concoctions you swear are good for you. WATER. Drinking water is one of the best things you can do for your body.  Your body needs water to function correctly, and drinking enough makes a huge difference. I’m not going to sit here and list off everything it does…because if you really want to know, you can google that. That said, I can tell a difference when I’m not drinking enough water – I get headaches, I get cranky, my skin is dull… it’s just not a good thing. As to how much, advice varies. I typically go with my own thirst, but always a minimum of 8 8-ounce glasses per day. Another good barometer is something Jillian Michaels has said – go by the color of your urine. It should be pale yellow, like the color of lemonade. Any darker, and you’re dehydrated. I keep a big water bottle on my desk and drink from it throughout the day. It also helps fill you up so you don’t overeat – a great bonus!
  4. Concentrate on quality. By this, I don’t mean organic vs. non-organic, meat vs. vegetarian, etc. I mean concentrate on the quality of the nutrients in your food. For me, that means making sure I get plenty of protein and fiber. Since I’m not a huge red meat eater, I eat a good amount of dairy along with some chicken or fish almost every day. Admittedly, protein is one of the hardest nutrients for me to get, so I really have to work hard at it… but when I get enough, I can tell the difference. It makes you fuller for longer and it great fuel for your body. Fiber does a lot of the same things as far as keeping you full, but it also keeps your digestive system moving. So important in general, plus if you eat something not so great for you, the fiber in a big salad will help get things moving out of there, if you know what I’m saying.
  5. Allow yourself to live your life. We all know things happen. Birthdays, anniversaries, holiday, a random bunch of cookies in the break room at work, a well-meaning aunt trying to give you more food, finishing your toddler’s lunch… it happens. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re allowed to have treats every so often, and in fact, I encourage it. Just don’t dwell on it. Have the piece of birthday cake, and go about your day. It’s all about balance. On the plus side, I’ve found that the better I eat on a regular basis, the more I don’t want those things anymore. We had Pizza Hut on Saturday night… and it just didn’t agree with me. It’s a sign my body wants the healthy stuff, and I welcome it. Slow and steady changes.

What do you think of my tips? Any you would change or any to add?

Five Things You May Not Know About Me

I thought I’d take a slightly different take on my Friday post today, and give you a little insight into me. Here’s five things you may not have known about me! 

ONE

I was a communications/journalism major in college, something I loved at the time and thought I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It started with my Grandpa, who collected newspapers. I wish I had photos of the stacks and stacks of newspapers that lined the walls in my grandparents’ house when I was a kid. I kid you not, they were everywhere. He loved knowledge, and he loved the news and couldn’t ever seem to part with it. I loved to write, so it made sense.

About halfway to three-quarters of the way through college, I figured out that life wasn’t for me, but I loved my major and had the best time learning about it. While I don’t use it directly, that knowledge comes in handy on a regular basis.

And that love of writing? I lost it for a while and didn’t really find it again until I started really writing here. Back to the beginning with that, I suppose. Write what you know.

 TWO 

I think it’s really important to do little things for yourself. It gives you a little self-confidence boost when you feel good about your outfit, or your makeup, or a good hair day. Is it a little vain? Maybe, but feeling better about myself makes me happier and more productive. The more you take care of you, the better you can take care of everyone around you.

View More: http://mathyshootspeople.pass.us/beerfamily

 THREE 

I once had a friend drop completely out of my life for no reason I’m aware of. She just disappeared one day without a word – and at the time she was staying with my family. It was beyond strange. I tried and tried to get in touch with her, talk to her, email her… and I have never gotten the truth of why she did this to me.  At the time, she was one of my best friends, and it bothered me for years. I’ve kind of let it go at this point, but I really wish I knew what happened, just to be able to close that chapter of my life.

 FOUR

Breakfast is my favorite meal, except maybe brunch because then there’s an excuse for crab cakes. I could eat breakfast food at every meal and love almost all of it – except grits and sausage gravy. You can take a born New Yorker to Virginia, but you can’t make her like every southern food. I love going to diners that serve breakfast all day or doing breakfast for dinner. I just think it’s the best. Add in huevos rancheros, and I’m a happy girl.

Silver Diner Huevos Rancheros

 FIVE

With the exception of the UK, I don’t really have a desire to travel the world. I do, however, want to travel within the US. There are so many places I haven’t been, and I definitely want to conquer that before I go elsewhere. There’s also the fact that I don’t enjoy flying too much and get antsy after about 6 hours in the car as it is. That doesn’t bode well for overseas travel! I want to start with the big cities I haven’t been able to get to, then go from there. Texas may end up first on the list since I know people in both San Antonio and Austin.

I’d love for you to join in! What are five things people don’t know about you?

 

 

Stitch Fix #8

My Stitch Fix arrival day is one of my favorite days of the month. Seriously. I get so excited when I know that box is sitting on my doorstep waiting for me. Totally worth it for me. My most recent one arrived yesterday, and here’s what was in it!

 Stitch Fix 8

When I initially peeked to see what was coming, I wasn’t quite sure how this fix was going to go, but I was pleasantly surprised. My stylist really knows what she’s doing!

 OCTAVIA Betty Chevron Infinity Scarf

Item 1 – Octavia Betty Chevron Infinity Scarf – $32

I really liked this – totally my style. This scarf is one of the reasons I always hope there’s at least one accessory in my fix – that means there’s always an option for something to keep! The fabric on this is soft, the color is great, and the only reason I didn’t keep it was because I was trying to be choosier about what I kept this time around. Verdict: Returned.

 RD STYLE Maureen Twisted Seam Elbow Patch Sweater

Item 2 – RD STYLE Maureen Twisted Seam Elbow Patch Sweater – XL – $64

I wasn’t sure what I would think of this, although the elbow patches made me optimistic. I love elbow patches, but somehow don’t have any in my closet. That said, I wasn’t crazy about this. I didn’t like that the knit was kind of see through and I really needed a shirt underneath it, which was hard (it’s got a pretty wide neckline that I wasn’t really comfortable with). I did love the color – can’t beat navy! Verdict: Returned.

 Market and Spruce Elissa French Terry Striped Moto Jacket

Item 3 – Market and Spruce Elissa French Terry Striped Moto Jacket – XL – $74

I had asked for a coat, but Aileen wasn’t able to find me one she thought I’d like and sent this instead. It’s a super cute little jacket, and I loved the gray stripes. I really liked the look of it open, but it was asymmetrical when closed and I didn’t really like it. This was also Chris’ least favorite piece – he said it looked like prison stripes. It did really remind me of a blazer, and if it was a blazer rather than a jacket, I probably would have kept it. Verdict: Returned.

 41Hawthorn Moni Stud Detailed 3/4 Sleeve Blouse

Item 4 – 41Hawthorn Moni Stud Detailed 3/4 Sleeve Blouse – XL – $58

I was skeptical when I saw this coming. I’ve received this before in a pattern (here), and it was way too tight. I don’t remember looking at the size of that one, but I’m now thinking that was the problem, since this one fit perfectly. The black is super versatile and I can see myself wearing this a lot. This was Chris’ favorite piece too. Verdict: Kept.

 Market & Spruce Corinna Striped Dolman Top

Item 5 – Market & Spruce Corinna Striped Dolman Top – XL – $48

This is the second piece I’ve received before. To be fair, I’m pretty sure Aileen wasn’t my stylist the last time I received this, so it’s hard for her to remember that. I did really like the color, but I still think dolman sleeves don’t work on me. The fabric was super soft and stretchy, and I can see this as a good top to request the next time I’m pregnant – seems like it’ll have give and even stretch back. Not right now though! Verdict: Returned.

And Stitch Fix number eight is in the books! Now to impatiently wait on number nine….

Do you want in on Stitch Fix?  It’s super easy!

  • Log in to stitchfix.com and you create your style profile.  (Use my referral link pretty please!)
  • You pay a $20 styling fee (which goes toward your order), then the Stitch Fix stylist picks out 5 items for you to try on.
  • The box arrives at your doorstep.  You try them on and decide what to keep, then send back anything you don’t want.
  • Checkout online, giving feedback about what you did and didn’t like about your fix. The more specific you are, the better your fixes get.
  • If you keep all 5 items, you receive 25% off your order.
  • You get to choose your price range, so your stylist has an idea of what you’re willing to spend.
  • Have fun!

Our Weekend + A Happy Birthday

Good morning! I hope you all had a fabulous weekend and enjoyed the holiday if you got it! We had a quiet weekend but still squeezed in a trip to see my family. It’s so fun to see Abbie play with my sisters.

Abbie and Andrea

Sunday was actually over 40 degrees and not raining for once, so with that, we went outside. I hate how much Abbie is stuck inside during the winter, so I take every chance I get to take her outside. I’m ready for spring to get here so we can go outside more often. I was never a kid that liked to go outside, but Abbie is the complete opposite, and for that I’m glad. I wish I had been more of a “go outside and play” kind of kid – I think I would be healthier overall now. It’s amazing how this kind of stuff sets you up early on.

Abbie Trike

I caught this photo of her, and I’m pretty sure my mom has a similar picture of me on a tricycle. We’ll have to find it so we can compare, but it’s amazing to me just how much Abbie’s face looks like mine.

Today’s also a pretty important day around here – it’s Chris’ birthday. Since it’s a weekday, we’re not doing anything too crazy – just a quiet night at home. I wish birthdays were automatic days off from work so we could do something fun. We’ll be celebrating this weekend – complete with Chris’ parents! They’re officially retired and got home yesterday – for good this time. I think it hasn’t quite hit any of us yet that this isn’t just a visit – they’re really staying, and we’re really going to be able to see them anytime we want. We had dinner with them last night and I didn’t think to take a picture, but Chris was so so happy to see them. I think that’s better than any birthday gift I could give him.

So, happy birthday babe. Love you so much!