Truths About Being a Toddler Mom

It’s never a dull moment…

  • You never watch your TV shows while they’re actually on.  Oh well, at least DVR lets you skip commercials.
  • Hair maintenance is a thing of the past.  You can’t remember your last haircut.
  • The last time you had a manicures and/or pedicures was the last time you were in a wedding.
  • You never eat your breakfast while sitting down.
  • Watching anything but Disney Junior is out of the question until bedtime.
  • You don’t sleep soundly anymore.  (Was that her making noise in her sleep?  Do you think she’s waking up?)
  • You shop, but don’t buy things for yourself.  Also known as, yes, my pants are falling down, but I’ll just wear a belt and deal with it, but my daughter NEEDS this dress to go with the other 1,859,378 in her closet.
  • You can’t sit through an entire Weight Watchers meeting without chasing your toddler.  Then again, I guess at least that’s activity.
  • Toddler giggles make you simultaneously smile and get tears in your eyes because it’s too cute.
  • Privacy in the bathroom is a distant memory.  (But mom, tampons are so interesting!  I want to take them ALL out of the box while you’re in there.)
  • Privacy of any kind is also long forgotten.  (Hey, I used to eat from those boobs.  I can grab them whenever I want!)
  • Your email inbox is out of control, or you respond to people with “aslkjpouiah;fjgasdf.”  (Oh, mommy’s on the computer?  I want to play!  I want to hit ALL THE BUTTONS!)
  • You hear yourself saying the craziest things.  “No, don’t lay on the cat!”
  • You don’t have any idea what the fashion trends are until they start happening in toddler clothes.  Or Target.
  • Being stylish means a clean pair of yoga pants.
  • You haven’t seen your living room floor in a while…only the sea of toys that cover it.
  • You go grocery shopping at night while she’s in bed.  It’s one of your favorite parts of the week – silence and food.
  • You never eat your dinner while it’s hot…or the entire thing.  You’re always sharing.
  • You don’t get to keep treats to yourself either.  Also known as them grabbing your cookie.  At least it’s less calories?
  • When they hand you the 12th book of the night before bedtime, it’s too cute and you read it even though you’re exhausted.  Wait, you don’t have to read it – you have it memorized.
  • You wish you could afford to take professional pictures every month because she grows too darn fast.  Scratch that, you want a professional photographer 24/7.
  • If you don’t want to give it to her, put it out of sight.
  • Sometimes you catch yourself watching toddler TV shows when they’re not around.
  • Watching her play with aunts/uncles/grandparents is the absolute best.
  • You have countless pictures of your toddler COVERED in food.  Or sleeping.  Or being silly.  Basically, just tons of pictures.
  • You know all the words to all the songs on their TV shows.
  • You love them more than you ever thought possible…until the next day. 


Any you would add to my list?


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    • Jess
      April 10, 2014 / 11:39 am

      I’m sure I missed some though…like Abbie getting syrup on my favorite shirt of hers. I debated sending her to daycare in it anyway….

  1. April 8, 2014 / 2:25 pm

    Yes yes and yes. Although, we also watch PBS, in addition to Disney Junior. We live on the wild side.
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    • Jess
      April 10, 2014 / 11:40 am

      Go you, so adventurous! Haha.

    • Jess
      April 10, 2014 / 11:40 am

      Hahaha, maybe. She doesn’t actually NEED them, I just love to buy them.

  2. April 9, 2014 / 10:47 am

    I don’t have a toddler…but I remember my mom going through the same things with my tiniest siblings 🙂 Good thing your tiny one is so cute!
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    • Jess
      April 10, 2014 / 11:41 am

      It is a good thing…I’m convinced babies are cute so we can forgive them easily.