Do You Watch TV with your Spouse?

So, Chris is taking over the blog today. I always love when he writes stuff to share with you guys because you get a glimpse into the man I married and a little bit different take on our lives. So…here’s my husband.

When I was younger one of my favorite television shows to watch was Married With Children. It was crude and hysterical and my favorite image was Al Bundy watching television with his hands in his pants. Its something I strived for now that I’m an adult and a husband. The side effect, of course, is that Jess wants nothing to do sitting next to a grown man with his hands in his pants watching television. (Ugh. Truth. I HATE him having his hands in his pants all the time! I ask him why and he says it’s warm. Um, what?)

This bizarre story leads me to why I wrote this. We have been married now for four years and really, it hasn’t been difficult. (Aw, thanks babe.) We mesh well together, we have designated roles and responsibilities, and we support each other in what we personally enjoy and in our parenting. The one thing we absolutely cannot agree on is television.

TV and Marriage

It hit home last Sunday when I sat down at 7pm and for the next four hours watched and reveled in the glory of Wrestlemania 31. Now it might not seem that strange that Jess wasn’t interested in Brock Lesnar against Roman Reigns, but it illustrated something that actually has bothered me for awhile. We share zero common interest in television shows. Okay, that’s not true … we both love Food Network and Cooking Channel. But really, that’s it.

We’ve tried watching shows together and have barely made it through. We both enjoy New Girl and Mindy Project but even that has slowed down. This is the breakdown – I watch pro wrestling, almost anything on Investigation Discovery, Justified, Better Call Saul, The Americans, Banshee, NBA and NHL playoffs, and Nationals games. She watches Real Housewives, Revenge, wedding shows, and random girly movies that we’ve recorded on the DVR. As you can see, there isn’t much overlap. In addition, I love to binge watch shows so even if there is something she might be interested in I get annoyed at how slow she moves. (It’s true – I can barely sit still long enough to watch a one hour show. I can’t even fathom watching multiple episodes in a row.)

We have two televisions so we are able to watch what we want, but should we? We both get home around 6:30 and are on Abbie duty until around 8:30, but then our television habits kick in and I go downstairs and she generally stays upstairs. We aren’t spending time together during the week but we both – especially me – want to watch our shows. I wouldn’t say it causes problems because it doesn’t, but still … sometimes I wish she’d stay downstairs with me even though I know that Justified isn’t for her. Now, since I’m writing this, I must say that I’ve done a better job tolerating her stuff than she has mine, if I can be real here. (This is true, but I cannot handle violence or anything graphic. It literally gives me nightmares, but that’s another story.)

My question is, is this something that might a problem down the road? Should we be trying to find more television shows in common to share? I know a lot of couples find shows on Netflix that they both like and I think that will be my next attempt – perhaps Mad Men and Kimmy Schmidt. It probably bothers me more than her and I definitely watch more television. But the question is … do you go through this? Are television watching habits something married people should monitor and make sure we find something to watch together? Are you fine with your husband watching whatever he wants?

P.S. – The Real Housewives are horrible people.

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17 Comments

  1. April 9, 2015 / 11:20 am

    Good topic! My husband and I have been married almost 19 years (!), and we have kind of worked out this problem. I don’t like a lot of the movies he rents from Redbox, but I will sit in bed next to him and read (my favorite activity) while he watches a movie. He’ll even rent Meryl Streep-type movies for me and suffer through them. He also has serious insomnia and falls asleep during even his movies, so he needs me there to kick him awake! We both like Chopped and Restaurant Impossible, and I try to get him to watch House Hunters International with me. He got me hooked on Girls (HBO), Nurse Jackie and Shameless (both Showtime). We did binge watch episodes to catch up. We have 2 TV’s, but honestly I feel lonely by myself in the living room. Sometimes I sit with my sons while they study, so I’m all over the house at night. I don’t think your TV habits will hurt your marriage.

    • Jess
      April 9, 2015 / 11:56 am

      Yeah, this is definitely something he worries about WAY more than me. As I’ve gotten older (and busier), I’ve watched less TV in general, but he loves it. I think as long as we spend some time together, it’ll be fine… because there’s no way I’m watching wrestling! 🙂

  2. April 9, 2015 / 12:25 pm

    I really liked this post…my husband and I only watch one show together {The Amazing Race} and the rest of thet ime the TV is off. We are both too busy to watch TV but will find the time for a movie on the weekends. It’s weird but when we do watch our show together, it’s very sweet and something we both look forward to. Thanks for sharing!! xx Asheigh @simplyWright

    • April 9, 2015 / 4:31 pm

      I think that’st he first step … we need to get back to going to the movies. We’ve spent a better part of two years without any real babysitting help but my parents have finally retired and moved back home. We went and saw one of those Divergent movies last month … so I think we are going to get to that.

    • Jess
      April 15, 2015 / 9:26 pm

      I really think it bothers him more than me that we don’t watch much together – I think he’ll keep trying to find something we both like!

  3. April 9, 2015 / 2:36 pm

    Lol the real housewives do seem like horrible people ahahah! There are very very few shows I watch with my husband too, and most of them are netflix shows we can binge watch over a weekend
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    • Jess
      April 15, 2015 / 9:26 pm

      The housewives are a trainwreck I can’t seem to stop watching… seriously.

  4. April 9, 2015 / 4:52 pm

    So, I don’t think the problem you are talking about is all that uncommon; man wants to watch wrestling and the woman wants to watch Real Housewives (And rightfully so because NeNe Leakes is the bomb.com) Regardless, I do think it’s important that you find a show to watch together. Michael and mine’s show is Mad Men. We both LOVE it and it gives us a chance, if nothing else, to snuggle up together on the sofa and just “be” with each other for at least an hour of the week since we both work and have kid duty when we’re home.

    Another option to think about is…drop the importance of focusing on TV altogether. Find something to do with each other once a week in the evenings to bond whether it’s playing games, or simply enjoying a drink and each others company. Many times, we’ll pour ourselves a glass of wine after our daughter goes to bed and sit on the sofa and just talk. It’s a great way to reconnect and NOT feel lonely.

    When all else fails, do a date night, go to a movie and call it a night. 🙂
    Courtney P recently posted…Shit! I Sound Like My Mom. Words and Phrases I Swore I’d Never Say as a ParentMy Profile

    • Jess
      April 15, 2015 / 9:27 pm

      You always have the best insight, my dear 🙂

  5. Terra
    April 9, 2015 / 6:34 pm

    I have the same issue with my husband, we do sometimes watch cooking shows together (chopped and top chef), but we don’t watch a whole lot because we only watch after our 2 year old is in bed, and we get too hungry too late at night with those shows. But our tastes overlap a little more when it comes to books and games. So we read a few of the same books (while I binge on chick lit in between) and talk about those, and sometimes we will both play the same games on our phones for a while, and we can always fall back on good old rock band.

    • Jess
      April 15, 2015 / 9:29 pm

      Yep, cooking shows are about all we agree on most of the time! I guess everyone likes food, right??

  6. Kristin beer
    April 10, 2015 / 9:28 am

    Great article , Alex and I love winding down and watching tv together sadly for him he knows the name of every woman from every housewife franchise but we both love watching jimmy Fallon & HGTV together and other shows we binge on like breaking bad game of thrones nurse Jackie califonication lost with a little more of a story line …he saves the fishing shows for when I’m out running errands !! Hope all is well with your family !!

    • April 10, 2015 / 9:36 am

      if I could get Jess to watch Breaking Bad I think I could die and go to heaven a happy man.
      Chris (Mr.) Beer recently posted…Friday! {4.10.15}My Profile

    • Jess
      April 15, 2015 / 9:34 pm

      Oh gosh, Chris would never know all the housewives. NEVER. And you too – you guys should come up for a visit!

  7. April 10, 2015 / 11:51 am

    Great post! My husband and I mostly watch the same shows, but also have a couple individual shows that we each enjoy. We also only have one TV, so when he’s watching something I don’t like, I’ll read or go online, and vice versa. I think finding the right balance and comfort level is different for every couple.
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    • Jess
      April 15, 2015 / 9:59 pm

      So true! Thanks for your thoughts!