Today I go back to work. I’m already feeling all the emotions today, no matter how strongly I feel going back to work is the right thing for us. Today is also Ella’s first day of daycare, and if she could understand me, these are the things I’d want her to know.
My sweet Ella –
Today I go back to work. I’ve been preparing for this for weeks, but there’s no real way to prepare you for it. It’s going to be a big change for you, but this is going to be your new normal.
Maternity leave is like stolen time. It’s the weeks I’ve had you all to myself. To get to know you with no distractions. To breathe you in, see your sweet smiles, tend to your every need every moment. I’m sorry to tell you that’s not our norm. Today you head to daycare for the first time.
I’ve done this before, and that does make it a little easier, but harder at the same time. I know you’ll be just fine. You’ll be with your sister all day and I know how she loves you and is so excited to have you with her all day. I know our daycare provider will take amazing care of you and keep us in the loop about everything.
I also know there are countless things I’ll miss. You haven’t rolled over yet. You’ll likely learn to sit on your own at daycare, to crawl and to walk. There are so many milestones I won’t witness, that I’ll hear about secondhand.
I also know this is going to be so confusing for you. You’re going to be spending more time in the car. You’ll be taking bottles all day (and we both know they’re not your favorite). Someone else will be putting you down for naps. You’re such a mama’s girl that I know without a doubt that you’ll be looking for me.
I know you’ll adjust, and I want you to know that going back to work is the best thing for me and the best thing for our family. I want to be a role model for you. I want to show you that you can be strong, that you too can do anything you put your mind to. I want you to understand that we don’t live in bubbles of our own families, and that we create our own village in those that support us. Connecting with others is so important, and I hope I’m planting the seeds of those connections now.
Just know I love you more than you’ll ever know, sweet Ella. I will be missing you tremendously today. Be your sweet self today, and save me a smile for when I pick you up, okay?
Love you, Momma