Last week was not the best week in our house. While it started on Monday as a normal busy work week, things quickly went downhill. We got a snow/ice/sleet storm Monday night, stayed home on Tuesday, and the flu hit Abbie on Wednesday (at 3am to be exact). The flu then hit Ella on Wednesday evening, then finally hit Chris and I on Friday. Basically, it took us all out of commission and brought the week to a screeching halt – interrupting work, our personal goals, and our family time.
I also don’t have a backup at work right now, so if I’m out, things don’t get done. We’re hoping to fix that soon, but in the meantime that left me attempting to work from home with a sick baby in my arms and starting to not feel well myself. Add in the copays I had to pay for the doctor’s visits and prescriptions (Did you know the copay for Tamiflu is really expensive? We had to pay $100 for each of the girls!), and I was overwhelmed. Needless to say, it was a rough week for me, and at some points I felt like it was all falling apart.
I’m one of those people that tends to hold it all together at all times. It’s both a strength and a weakness for me – a desire to keep my composure and put my best face forward. I work hard to be that person. I work hard to keep my life organized at all times – the key to things running smoothly in my household is that organization.
Chris says often that I’m the heartbeat of our family – the one that keeps it going at all times. But last week? Last week, for a brief moment, I felt I was falling apart. My kids were sick, I was sick, I was missing things at work, and I felt I was letting down all the people that depend on me. To be honest, it just sucked.
And you know what I did? I put Ella down for a nap, then I vented to my husband. I cried. I took a nap. I let myself fall apart, just a little bit, so that I could put myself back together. Sometimes letting all the pieces fall is the best way to handle things – to see them for what they are, prioritize the most important parts, and find your way back to the composure you’re looking for. Letting everything fall, just for a moment, allowed me to see that this was just a brief hiccup and I could get right back to where I wanted to be.
So mamas, don’t be afraid to fall apart. We all do sometimes – even the moms you swear have it all together and going for them. Don’t be afraid to fall apart a little, if only to put yourself back together.