To My Daughter, Before You Become a Big Sister

Well, any day now, it’s happening. With an induction date on the calendar, bags packed, and a nursery ready to go, it’s more evident than ever that our days as a family of three are numbered. Every night when we put Abbie to bed, I find myself wondering if this time is the last time we put her to bed as an only child. Is this the last time she’ll have all our attention and not have to share? I usually tell her I’ll see her in the morning, but I’ve stopped lately. Because the truth is, if I go into labor during the night, there’s a chance I wouldn’t see her in the morning. It’s exciting and heartbreaking all at once – the very definition of bittersweet.

For nearly four years, Abbie has been the center of our family. When I think of my family, I think of her laughing as we tickle her, her little mannerisms and sayings, the smile she inherited from me. In 10 days or less, I’ll be thinking of two little girls – the one who’s been our world for so long, and the one we have yet to meet. So, to my first little girl, the one that made me a mom…

Dear Abbie,

In just a few short days, your world is going to change in ways you can’t imagine, and in ways I can’t begin to explain to you. As an oldest child myself, I know firsthand how different everything is going to be for you. I was much older than you are now when I became a big sister, but I can tell you without a doubt – you are about to receive the greatest gift your dad and I could ever give you.

You know those aunts you adore? Well, three out of four of them started out just like your baby sister will – as my baby sisters.  Rachel, Melanie, and Andrea were the sisters I asked and waited for, the siblings I so desperately wanted. To be honest, I probably drove your Grandma and Pop crazy with how much I asked for them. I can tell you now, they are worth every minute I waited. No matter what has happened over the years, my life has been infinitely better with the three of them in it.

Now, I find myself about to give that same gift to you – about to be the parent of sisters. Know that it’s not always going to be easy. When your sister first gets here, there will be a lot of compromise on your end – less playground time, more quiet time, and you growing up just a bit faster than you otherwise would. There will be easy, happy times too – the first time you get to hold her, seeing her smile at you (we know you’re a pro making babies smile from watching you with your cousin), and the moment she’s finally big enough to play with you. I know without a doubt that all those good moments will far exceed the compromises. I also know you, and I know you’ll handle it like the big, independent girl I know you are.

I also know, from having sisters, that you won’t always like each other. You’re going to fight and you’re going to take each other’s things. You might compete with each other. You may think the other one is lame. You may have the same interests or completely different ones – only time will tell. I know that beneath any disagreements, you will always be sisters first. It’s my hope that you each recognize how important the other is, and how much she means to you. It’s my hope that you never forget that.

So bear with mom and dad over the next few months, my big girl. This “parents of two” thing will be new to us. We may not always do things right. We may not give you the attention you deserve – your baby sister will just need us a bit more for a little while. We’re going to need your help with everything from picking up your toys to getting giggles out of your sister. Please know that we love you so, so much, and your baby sister won’t change that – if anything we’ll love you more. We’re so, so excited to see the two of you together and watch your relationship grow.

And me? Well, knowing what you’re getting, I’m incredibly thrilled to be able to give you a sister.

All my love,

Mommy