…That’s what Chris said to me late last night. I was getting ready for bed, about to write a weekend recap post (as I usually do), and struggling to find the words. Struggling to find a way to make everything “rainbows and sunshine” as we so often do in blogland.
After he said that to me? I closed my laptop and went to sleep.
If you’ve been following along, you know that yesterday was Abbie’s first birthday party. You know I’ve been planning it for weeks, that I took Friday off from work to prep, and that we were having the party early so my in-laws could be here for it. If you live in the DC area, you also know that Sunday morning, we woke up to this…and it just kept coming.
I had been checking the forecast since Friday. You know sometimes you think if you ignore something, it’ll go away? Yeah, that didn’t happen here.
It was only snowing at our house, but further south and west things were different. They were getting sleet, freezing rain, and ice – basically, impossible driving conditions. The first cancellations came from the people traveling the farthest – my two best friends, from 2-3 hours away. Then we started getting cancellations from an hour away, and even 20 minutes away.
In the end, my parents and sisters weren’t even able to come.
Needless to say, I was a mess. I know it’s not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. I know Abbie won’t remember. I know she had fun with the people that were able to come (and if you guys are reading this, I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you were there). But the thing is – I remember.
I’ll remember how I planned for weeks, and mother nature just wouldn’t bend to my plans. That there are dozens of cupcakes I had to bring to work since people weren’t there to eat them. That I so wanted to see ALL of my favorite people all in the same place, celebrating my little girl – and I didn’t get that. It’s what I wanted most of all – a chance to spend time with all the people I love.
I’ve been trying to find the right word for what I’ve been feeling, and the only one I can come up with is disappointment. This is the part of the post where I’m supposed to find the silver lining, right? I’m trying to get there, but I’m just not yet. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay for me to be disappointed. It’s okay to feel what I’m feeling and write about it. I’ve promised myself that I’ll do a lot with this little space of mine, but number one is that I want to be honest. I don’t believe in pretending to be someone I’m not and having emotions I don’t have. So when Chris said maybe I shouldn’t blog yet, I listened. He somehow knew I needed the night to process things. I knew I’d be back today.
I hope you all had a fabulous weekend and if you’re in the DC area, actually enjoyed the snow this weekend. I’ll be showing off the party we did have later this week.