It seems like every fall is a season of change. Not only is it reflected in the trees, leaves, and weather, but in our lives as well. At least, it is in mine.
We just celebrated Rosh Hashanah, the start of the Jewish new year. It’s a time to reflect, to think of the year that’s coming, and to reflect on the year that’s past. I’ve always loved that it coincides with the fall. It signifies a fresh start, a way to make all those changes your own.
It also seems like almost every fall welcomes changes and big events in my family and with my friends. Last year it was moving into our new home. A few short years ago I was pregnant with Abbie. It always seems to hit around now, when I’m welcoming a new year of the Hebrew calendar.
This year, the big change is Chris starting a new job. We’re excited about the opportunities it will bring. I’m also nervous as I am with any big change. For at least the first few months, Chris will be traveling quite a bit – something that’s new to us. He’s never really had to travel much for work before, and we’ve always been able to work as a team as parents – able to step in wherever and whenever it’s needed. I do a lot of the prep work now, but I’m nervous to handle so much by myself. Chris being gone means getting both Abbie and I ready and out the door by 7 am – with bags and lunches packed and ready to tackle traffic. It means dinner, dishes, laundry, and the bedtime routine by myself. It also means a change for Abbie, one that’ll be hard for her to understand.
I know a lot of families deal with this all the time, but I also feel like for many of these families, the other is a stay at home parent. I could be totally wrong on that, but that’s the impression I get. Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s easy for them – I firmly believe every family has their own challenges – but it’s a bit different with two working spouses. I’m not really sure how it’s all going to go. How on earth am I going to do it all by myself on the days he’s traveling?
So I’m nervous. Really nervous, but there’s nothing I can do. Change is coming, and I know it’s for the better… but I have to get through the hard part first.
I’ve found that thinking about it and the lead up to when they’re gone is immensely harder than when they’re actually away. We build up this fear in our minds (I do it ALLLLL the time, even though I should technically be a pro at it by now). It will be hard at first, absolutely, but you’ll find your own rhythm and routine. I may be a SAHM, but I do work (albeit from home), and we do have specific appointments and things we have to be out the door for (school three days a week for the little one, for example). You just do it and you figure out what works for you. It may mean that the bedtime routine is shortened a bit, and that breakfast/lunch isn’t as elaborate. Thinking about the change is seriously almost always harder than the actual change itself. You’ll do great!
Thanks honey! First trip went okay, but next month is going to be a doozy!
I totally get this. My husband and I work complete opposite. Meaning, I go to work at 6am. He gets out of work at 6am and isn’t home until 7am. I am out of work at 4pm, home by 4:30, and he leaves again for work at 5pm to be to work by 6pm. It’s crazy, and a lot of times I honestly feel like a single parent. I’m the one that is home do all the cleaning, cooking and getting both of the girls bathed and ready for bed by myself. Most nights I’m so exhausted by the end of the night that I am asleep myself by 8pm. And the next morning, i’m up to do it all over again…by myself. We make it work. It’s not always easy, and eventually you do get used to it. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish that my husband and I worked the same hours so we could both help out with the girls. Good luck, and honestly you will make it work!!!
Oh my gosh that sounds so hard! I don’t know how you make it work but props to you – that’s so much to handle!
First of all, congrats to your husband on his new job! That’s great! And second, I know what you mean. People who’s husbands travel often or are gone a lot do seem like they are al SAHMs. My husband and I both work but are both home at night and share the duties of the house and with Mason. He actually almost applied for a job where he would travel often. I recently got a new job so it wouldn’t be as bad since its more flexible than my old one but to have him traveling would definitely put a damper on things. I wish you the best with these new changes!
Thank you! Hopefully it’ll all go okay 🙂
Justin has to cover mommy and daddy duty when I travel for work (this is the start of my conference season. I will probably be gone for three weeks between the end of September and the beginning of November). He finds a rhythm that works for him and Bridget. I’m sure you will, too! We’re not far from you, though, if you need help or company!
Changes like that are always challenging! I’m sure you will find a routine and a rhythm that works for your family!
Thanks Julia – we’re working on it!
I think there will be a learning curve, but you’ll figure it out. You might have to prioritize the cleaning and cooking a little bit, especially at first, and be willing to let things slide. It’s tempting to try to do it all, but you will need time to decompress and just relax. It’s wonderful to open up to new possibilities and see where they take you … I love fall, too. Unfortunately we don’t get one here in Florida until December to January, if we’re lucky. Enjoy!
Thank you! The first travel wasn’t terrible, but next month will be a doozy. We’ll see how it goes!