Numbers. Such a small part of who we are, but they have such a huge impact on us. I’ve been battling a certain set of numbers since I was a teenager. My weight.
More than once, I’ve debated sharing it here. Not for all of you, but for me. To remind myself where I am, where I’ve been, and where I’m going. It’s not an easy number to publish. Hi I’m _____, and I weigh ___ pounds. Scary stuff right there. We spend so much of our time trying to make ourselves seem thinner. We wear baggy clothes and flattering colors. We contour our makeup a certain way. We cover up. We lie about it on our driver’s licenses. It consumes us.
So the question – do I share my weight, the true number? Will it help me? Will it help anyone else? Does it help to look at where I’ve been?
First up, newly pregnant with Abbie (but I didn’t know it yet). Here, I’m about 211 pounds.
I gained 36 pounds while pregnant with Abbie. This is the night we went to the hospital for our induction – at 247 pounds. It was my highest weight to date. Abbie was born at 8 pounds and 2 ounces. I went back to Weight Watchers when she was 8 days old and weighted in at 222 pounds.
By the time Abbie was 2 months old, I was already back to my pre-pregnancy weight. For most people, the journey might stop there, but mine had a long way to go.
I finally got under 200 pounds this past summer, but it didn’t last. From August of last year through February of this year, I battled with the 200 mark…and finally beat it. As of last Saturday’s Weight Watchers meeting, I am currently 197.2 pounds.
So there it is. The real number. My goal weight is 145 pounds, so I’ve got a long way to go (52.2 pounds, to be exact!). I have no idea how long it’s going to take me to get there, but I’m happy to see the numbers finally moving steadily in the right direction. I know I’ll have setbacks. I know I’ll need to start over. In the past, that’s made me feel like a failure – that I messed up, and didn’t do it right. But the thing is, starting over doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. I’ve now started over so many times I’ve lost count. All that matters is that you don’t give up.
My journey’s far from over, and now that I’ve shared the numbers, I’d love to hear what works for you, or what doesn’t. Clearly I’m an open book on this front (and I hope I’ll continue to be), so feel free to ask me anything. Finally, here’s a look at what how I looked the last time I was at goal weight (this is actually 135, so a little less). I can’t wait to see that girl in the mirror again.