Numbers. Such a small part of who we are, but they have such a huge impact on us. I’ve been battling a certain set of numbers since I was a teenager. My weight.
More than once, I’ve debated sharing it here. Not for all of you, but for me. To remind myself where I am, where I’ve been, and where I’m going. It’s not an easy number to publish. Hi I’m _____, and I weigh ___ pounds. Scary stuff right there. We spend so much of our time trying to make ourselves seem thinner. We wear baggy clothes and flattering colors. We contour our makeup a certain way. We cover up. We lie about it on our driver’s licenses. It consumes us.
So the question – do I share my weight, the true number? Will it help me? Will it help anyone else? Does it help to look at where I’ve been?
First up, newly pregnant with Abbie (but I didn’t know it yet). Here, I’m about 211 pounds.
I gained 36 pounds while pregnant with Abbie. This is the night we went to the hospital for our induction – at 247 pounds. It was my highest weight to date. Abbie was born at 8 pounds and 2 ounces. I went back to Weight Watchers when she was 8 days old and weighted in at 222 pounds.
By the time Abbie was 2 months old, I was already back to my pre-pregnancy weight. For most people, the journey might stop there, but mine had a long way to go.
I finally got under 200 pounds this past summer, but it didn’t last. From August of last year through February of this year, I battled with the 200 mark…and finally beat it. As of last Saturday’s Weight Watchers meeting, I am currently 197.2 pounds.
So there it is. The real number. My goal weight is 145 pounds, so I’ve got a long way to go (52.2 pounds, to be exact!). I have no idea how long it’s going to take me to get there, but I’m happy to see the numbers finally moving steadily in the right direction. I know I’ll have setbacks. I know I’ll need to start over. In the past, that’s made me feel like a failure – that I messed up, and didn’t do it right. But the thing is, starting over doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. I’ve now started over so many times I’ve lost count. All that matters is that you don’t give up.
My journey’s far from over, and now that I’ve shared the numbers, I’d love to hear what works for you, or what doesn’t. Clearly I’m an open book on this front (and I hope I’ll continue to be), so feel free to ask me anything. Finally, here’s a look at what how I looked the last time I was at goal weight (this is actually 135, so a little less). I can’t wait to see that girl in the mirror again.
20 Responses
First of all… Congratulations!
Second… We all know it is not easy! I love the WW program. I was able to lose 75 pounds in 2002-2003 and I think that program really works – once you realize that it is a lifestyle change. I, unfortunately, fell off that lifestyle and after my little girl is born in a week or so, I will be back on that train. I did slowly gain all my weight back after getting married in 2004 and was overweight at the beginning of both of my pregnancies. I honestly think I would be mortified to put numbers on a blog like you have done, so KUDOS! 🙂 I think it will help you in the long run. They shouldn’t be as scary as they are. They. are. just. numbers… for goodness sake!
Good luck as you continue your journey with the additional 50+ pounds! You can do it!
Thank you! I actually have been off/on WW for close to 10 years – the first time was in college, when I lost 70 pounds. I was overweight pretty much my entire life until then. After graduation, life got crazy, and I slowly put it all back on.
It’s been tough, but I’m hoping by showing the actual numbers, people will be able to identify with me and help me along this journey! They’re just numbers – why are we so obsessed with them??
Whoot! Congrats. You’re doing great.
Thanks!
Congratulations Jess – and good luck. This was a very brave post and hopefully talking openly about it on your blog, and listening to your readers will help you stay motivated!! I heard some advice at the pan-hel play yesterday which I thought I would share “you can’t out exercise a bad diet”. I am a firm believer in the “everything in moderation” mantra but I thought that statement (I think it’s actually a Jillian Michaels quote) was a really good one. Good luck – you got this!
You’re so sweet, and I’m so lucky to have you as a friend <3
i’m so proud of you for sharing those numbers with the world. It’s crazy that we can be so secretive about something so many other women are going through. Our numbers are similar, but I just can’t seem to break the 200s 🙁 I’m hoping I can get back on track this summer (more fruit, veggies, salads, etc). I did WW for my wedding and got down to my first goal weight (I may have purposefully ordered my wedding gown two sizes too small, so I kinda had to lose the weight!). Paleo works very, very well for me when I do it. I just need to stop cheating (darn vacation, birthday parties, and family visiting)!
I hear you on the cheating…how ironic is it that I cheated a lot on the day I posted this? But we’ll get there, eventually!
You’re doing amazing! Keep up the hard work, and don’t stop believing in yourself!
Thank you sweet friend!
I think it’s great and brave of you to share your weight! You’re doing a great job! I think if you’re someone who struggles with weight even once at goal you will always have to watch it or you’ll end up gaining it back (like me). I’m below my pre-pregnancy weight but I still have so long to go because I was way way too big while pregnant. Keep up the great work!
Thanks so much! Getting there!
Wishing you luck on your weight loss journey! I have the best luck when I cut out breads/crackers/sweets. I was at my lowest adult weight after having Luke because I stayed on my strict diet for gestational diabetes. Now that my sugar was back to normal I let my weight slip a bit. Hoping to lose about 10 lbs so I’ll be looking for posts about tips and progress!
Yep, sweets are definitely my downfall. Hopefully we can all help each other!
I’ve been struggling with a similar post in my drafts – I think this may have been the push I needed 🙂
Thanks for being so brave and I hope it’s contagious 🙂 You are doing SO AWESOME and it’s so inspiring of you to stick with it through ups and downs. One of my big struggles is when I trip up, I go WAY overboard – classic mistake but I can’t help it. An M&M turns into ice cream and pizza and etc etcccc. Anyway paleo and Whole30 work for me when I’m good about it. And cardio intervals (run for 30 seconds, walk for 60, etc). Good luck!!
Thank you so much. You can do it too, you know!
you are beautiful at ANY size!!! But I’m proud of you – and support you 100%!!! I’m on the same journey… I started at 190 pounds in October and down to 166, last weigh in… Like you – I’d like to be 150+/-
SO we will support each other in this!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! 😀
You are the sweetest. Now share your secrets – 24 pounds since October is amazing!