Motherhood comes with a whole host of emotions – love, fear, nervousness…but there’s one you start experiencing the moment you see the positive on that pregnancy test.
At least for me, it started the moment the “Pregnant” came up. Was I healthy enough for this? Had I been giving my baby enough nutrients to grow? Was I ready to provide for my baby? Would I be a good mom? Would my baby be healthy? Would I make the right decisions for her? I suppose it doesn’t help that I’m a worrier by nature, but I know this feeling won’t ever go away. It’s just one of those things about motherhood that we impose on ourselves.
Mommy Guilt creeps in at so many times. I started to make a list, but to be honest, it wouldn’t end. I’d be sitting here typing forever, constantly thinking of other ways I feel guilty about what we’re doing in raising our daughter. So how to deal with it?
There’s no easy answer to it, but what I do is let myself feel it for a moment. If I’m having a rough day at work and wishing I was home with Abbie for a minute, I let myself feel sad for a minute…and then I move on. I know for a fact that I’m doing the best I can for her, and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to help her. Working hard and planning things to do as a family? That helps Abbie. Being in the moment with her when I’m playing with her? She loves that.
I also try to focus on the things I’m most proud of with her and I know I’ve given her the best. We chose to cloth diaper, and her sensitive skin has been better for it. We did baby-led weaning, and she now eats with us as a family. It was so important to me once I had a family to have dinner together each night, since my family always did. Abbie’s been sleeping in her room from day one – and she has a sense of independence I admire. She loves to be outside, so we hit the playground as often as we can. They’re the things we’re doing right. I try to focus on that instead of the guilt.