I don’t know if it’s been evident, but I’ve been struggling a little bit lately. Maybe struggling is a bit strong of a word, but it seems like there’s just too much going on. Too much to do. Too many thoughts. Too many things I want to do. Too much sleep I’m not getting.
Anyway, it’s been a little hard for me to find the balance lately. There are so many things I want to give my time to, and with working full-time (and commuting nearly 2.5 hours/day), it’s just hard. It’s so hard lately to find time to do all the things I want to do, and one of those things is being active here.
I feel like I’ve just been so absent. I have hopes, plans, and dreams for this little online space of mine, but I’ve really struggled with it lately. I want to be excited, but so many days, I’m just trying to survive. Well, maybe survive isn’t the right word, but the to-do list seems like it just piles up, leaving little time for myself. The time I do have I’m using merely to catch my breath.
I think a lot of people go through this, but it’s truly been hard for me. I’m a person who wants to be able to give everything to everyone. I get my greatest joy by giving. The best presents for me are actually in finding the best presents for everyone else – the perfect card for a friend, surprise concert tickets for my mom, sidewalk chalk as a surprise for Abbie, the jersey Chris wasn’t expecting for Christmas. I work so hard to give to everyone else – because in the end, that’s what makes me happy.
In all that, I often forget myself. I forget to give myself the gift I truly need – time. I always seem to be chasing it, but usually give it away to everyone around me. I never find that balance between time for everyone else and time for myself.
I know I can’t be the only one who struggles with this. I know I’m not alone. So now I’m asking you – where do you find the balance? How do you carve out time for yourself?
Oh girl, I wish I had the answer for you! I struggle with balance so much too, and I have such a performance mentality that it’s hard for me to stop push, push, pushing myself to always be doing something “productive”. Adam is always telling me I need to be ok with really and truly resting! I do usually manage to set aside some time on the weekends to grab myself a coffee and wander around some of my favorite stores looking at pretty things, that’s one of my favorite ways to unwind!
Thanks for your encouragement hon. I received so many sweet comments on this, and I love that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Chris wants to make sure I have some me time, so window shopping may be on the agenda! <3
oh wow Jess I feel like you could’ve taken the words out of my mouth. I thought once we moved I would stop this “survival mode” and get back to living and it hasn’t happened. I’m not sure I have answers but Inguess I wanted you to know you’re not alone! I’ve been thinking how to find that balance you talk of and I’m trying to decide what are the most important things. Once I do that maybe it’ll make it easier to focus? I want to be everything but I’m starting to accept in this season it’s just not possible. Sending you hugs friend!
Thank you my dear! I do struggle with figuring out what’s most important too. It’s hard to figure out where you fit. Hugs back to you! <3
Rest assured, you are *not* alone. Everyone struggles with this, even those who appear to have it all together have to play the juggling game. My secret? Every Sunday morning between 8:30 – 11:30 is me time. I use this time to go to Starbucks and write, run errands or just do something nice for me, like a pedicure or something. Michael stays home with Maddy and this gives them an opportunity to have daddy/daughter time. Granted, it takes time away from me that I can have with Maddy on the weekends but I’ve often found that if I can have a couple of hours to myself, I return home feeling refreshed and rejuvenated and am a better mother and spouse for it.
Give it a try. Talk to your hubby and see if you guys can compromise on a time either during the week or on the weekends where you can get away for a little bit. It’s not selfish at all to think of yourself and you’re worth the investment.
Thinking of you.
Chris and I talked about exactly this idea (your Sunday mornings), and it’s definitely going to happen. I don’t think I’ll be able to do it every week, but even every other or every third week will work. Thanks for the idea! <3
You are so not alone. I’ve been there, and am still there most days. Outside of not having the time to do everything I want to do (and do it well), I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the SAHM role I so desperately wanted. A lot of times I feel less of myself, all because my days are spent chasing a small human and not contributing to the working world. It’s hard, but I’ve found that making a point to have “me time” is the only way to keep afloat.
I absolutely hate to work out, but I’ve found a Spinning class I actually enjoy. People talk about their weight-loss goals, or fitness dreams, and I’m simply there as an excuse to get out of my own house twice a week and talk to other real-live people. I now make it a point to go get my hair done regularly. I’m working on not feeling guilty to ask for a babysitter, so that I can have adult conversation with my husband. It’s all little stuff but I’m finally feeling like me, personally, is taken care of. Start small, and give it patience. I love what a previous commenter said about her Sunday mornings. That’s so perfect!
Yes! I think this is something all moms struggle with. We all push aside the me time in favor of our families, and we’re the ones that suffer for it. I’m glad you found an outlet in your spin class! All those little moments of time to ourselves really add up. And I’m totally integrating Courtney’s Sunday mornings into my life!
You’re definitely not alone! I’m in awe of moms who work outside the home & manage to keep both worlds running. Like other comments above, one thing that’s really helped me find balance is carving out 4 hours of “me time” a week to do things that bring me back to center — blogging, working out, getting a massage, even grocery shopping by myself. It really makes a big difference in my mental health, and gives me time to compose my thoughts and ideas for some of those things like gift giving and helping others.
Girl, I don’t know how I keep them both running either! Chris and I are definitely going to carve out some time for me to have to myself. It’s just hard when there’s so little time we all have together, but it’s so necessary.
Ugh. I feel for you. 🙁 I’ve been feeling the same way. Here’s hoping we both get our balance back!!
We will! I don’t know how you’re going to manage TWO little ones and working! One of the things I fear most about baby 2 is that balance, so I’ll be watching you closely! No creepy stalking though, promise! 😉
I can totally relate! Finding a balance is so hard. I know from experience that it will get easier when Abby gets older. I was so thrilled when our older son was about 8 and he could feed himself and his little brother, then about 5, breakfast cereal on a Saturday morning so that we could sleep in a little. I used to commute 1 hour each way to work when the boys were little and now my commute is 5-6 mins each way. That makes a big difference. If you could use done of your commute time to listen to books on tape or relax a bit, that could help. I used to commute on a long stretch by sugarcane fields with little traffic, so not too stressful. I think all moms, working outside the house or not, struggle with this issue.
All so true. I’m hoping it’ll get easier as Abbie gets bigger. Thanks for your sweet words!