DISCLAIMER: I am NOT pregnant.
Phew, now that we’ve got that out of the way (couldn’t have you thinking I was), I wanted to talk a little bit today about baby #2. I’ve has several people ask me about whether we’ll have another baby. Short answer? Yes, we’d like to, but not yet.
It’s always been important to me to have more than one child, and to hopefully have them not too far apart. I was an only child for the first nine years of my life…and I wished all the time for a sibling. Unfortunately, my parents had a hard time conceiving a second child. My mom has said they started trying when I was three…and my sister Rachel came along when I was nine. That’s six years of waiting and wishing. I think about it now, and I must have been pretty hard on my mom – I kept asking for something she was trying and trying to give me. My mom was on Clomid when getting pregnant with Rachel, but she was fortunate to not need it again – I have three sisters.
Sometimes I’m terrified I’ll have the same problem my mom had. Secondary infertility is pretty common nowadays, so I know I wouldn’t be alone, but I’m still scared of it. I definitely want Abbie to have siblings close in age to her. My sisters and I had a hard time connecting as sisters for a while (I was more of an aunt to them sometimes because of the age difference), and we’re just now getting to the point that we can have that kind of relationship.
Chris is fortunate in that his brothers are close in age to him, and while they don’t always get along (what siblings do?), I’m sometimes jealous of the relationship he has with them. They grew up together, while my sisters and I are more of two sets of kids – me one and them the other. I kind of grew up on my own, and they grew up together, so we don’t have the experience of all growing up together. It’s an odd dynamic – I feel simultaneously like an only child and an oldest child.
Because of all that, we’re really hoping to have no more than a 4 year age difference between our kids. At this point, we know we want at least one more child. If all goes as planned, we’re hoping to start trying next summer. Since we both work, we have to take lots of things into account – maternity leave for me, time off for him, our financial situation, paying for daycare… it all factors in.
As far as our final number we want? We’ve always said three. Chris is one of three and I’m one of four, so we’ve always felt like we were meant for more than two kids. At the same time, I feel like it’s something you just know when you get there. We may feel differently after child number two. We may want another, or we may feel our family’s complete. We don’t know yet, and I think it’s important to take that as it comes. Hopefully by winter 2015 we’ll be on our way to knowing more.