Truths About Being a Toddler Mom

It’s never a dull moment…

• You never watch your TV shows while they’re actually on.  Oh well, at least DVR lets you skip commercials.
• Hair maintenance is a thing of the past.  You can’t remember your last haircut.
• The last time you had a manicures and/or pedicures was the last time you were in a wedding.
• You never eat your breakfast while sitting down.
• Watching anything but Disney Junior is out of the question until bedtime.
• You don’t sleep soundly anymore.  (Was that her making noise in her sleep?  Do you think she’s waking up?)
• You shop, but don’t buy things for yourself.  Also known as, yes, my pants are falling down, but I’ll just wear a belt and deal with it, but my daughter NEEDS this dress to go with the other 1,859,378 in her closet.
• You can’t sit through an entire Weight Watchers meeting without chasing your toddler.  Then again, I guess at least that’s activity.
• Toddler giggles make you simultaneously smile and get tears in your eyes because it’s too cute.
• Privacy in the bathroom is a distant memory.  (But mom, tampons are so interesting!  I want to take them ALL out of the box while you’re in there.)
• Privacy of any kind is also long forgotten.  (Hey, I used to eat from those boobs.  I can grab them whenever I want!)
• Your email inbox is out of control, or you respond to people with “aslkjpouiah;fjgasdf.”  (Oh, mommy’s on the computer?  I want to play!  I want to hit ALL THE BUTTONS!)
• You hear yourself saying the craziest things.  “No, don’t lay on the cat!”
• You don’t have any idea what the fashion trends are until they start happening in toddler clothes.  Or Target.
• Being stylish means a clean pair of yoga pants.
• You haven’t seen your living room floor in a while…only the sea of toys that cover it.
• You go grocery shopping at night while she’s in bed.  It’s one of your favorite parts of the week – silence and food.
• You never eat your dinner while it’s hot…or the entire thing.  You’re always sharing.
• You don’t get to keep treats to yourself either.  Also known as them grabbing your cookie.  At least it’s less calories?
• When they hand you the 12th book of the night before bedtime, it’s too cute and you read it even though you’re exhausted.  Wait, you don’t have to read it – you have it memorized.
• You wish you could afford to take professional pictures every month because she grows too darn fast.  Scratch that, you want a professional photographer 24/7.
• If you don’t want to give it to her, put it out of sight.
• Sometimes you catch yourself watching toddler TV shows when they’re not around.
• Watching her play with aunts/uncles/grandparents is the absolute best.
• You have countless pictures of your toddler COVERED in food.  Or sleeping.  Or being silly.  Basically, just tons of pictures.
• You know all the words to all the songs on their TV shows.
• You love them more than you ever thought possible…until the next day. 

Any you would add to my list?