On Changes and Feeling Lost

I feel like this is going to be one of those days where I just write and see where it goes… so bear with me if I ramble.  (By the way, does it bother anyone else when people say “bare” in this phrase instead of “bear?”  Drives me crazy, but so many people do it that way that I looked it up to make sure I was doing it right.)

Told you I was going to ramble.

These last 6 weeks or so have been hard.  In that time, we bought a house, moved, and changed our entire routine.  The process of buying was super stressful for me.  It felt like every day I had to find more paperwork or send more documentation.  There were days that I got completely stressed out every time my phone told me I had a new email.  I was constantly worried that something was going to go wrong, and a lot things almost did – until they went right.

Then there was the move.  Packing up your life is no easy task, and doing so with a toddler makes it even more difficult.  There was so much to get done, and I felt like I missed out on family time because of it.  Basically, Abbie watched way more TV than I like her to.

Once we moved, we had to get used to so many different things – the new commute for one.  Our old commutes were about 20-25 minutes one way.  Now, we each spend nearly an hour in the car each way (sometimes more in the evenings).  It’s pretty typical of our area, but was still a major adjustment.  There’s also been some things we’ve had to fix in the house early on (adding more insulation, some plumbing issues with the dishwasher and sink) that have been frustrating.  But, here we are, at the end of a crazy season.

Through all of this, I think I lost myself a bit.  I put myself on the back burner because of everything going on.  So much came before me – the house, Abbie, Chris, the cats, Abbie’s tear duct surgery, etc.  I ate like crap, and as a result gained back 2.5 pounds.  I know that’s not a ton in the grand scheme of things, but since I tend to lose weight slowly…. it’s a lot to me.  I completely fell off of tracking, despite logging in every day.  I definitely didn’t have a lot of blogging inspiration, and I had zero time to work out.  Basically, I haven’t really been taking care of myself lately.

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I’ve felt like I need a map to get back on track, but I don’t have one.  There’s no map for your life.  Now that it seems we’re settled, I’m trying to carve out some time for myself again, and I’m finding I don’t know where to start.  I almost feels like starting over, and that’s never easy.

So what am I going to do?  Try to get back to the things I was loving before this crazy process started.  Getting competitive on Fitbit again.  Tracking all my food.  Reading a new book from the library.  Spending time with friends.  Writing here.

Time to get back to it.

 

 

 

 

About Jess

About Jess

Jess Beer is a full-time working mom of two girls who writes about motherhood, wellness, easy meals and style.

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20 Responses

  1. I have no advice except to say I hope you find your way back to what matters to you! I feel like I’m with you on a lot of those things – but of course in different ways. I just want things to get back to “normal” whatever that means and it feels like it’s never going to happen. I mean I know it will but it doesn’t feel that way. Hang in there lady! You adjusted to life with a kid a new house and commute has gotta be easier (right?).

  2. I totally know that feeling. We just moved and I am EXHAUSTED and have zero motivation to continue to run. It has been a game of forcing myself to run, and yesterday was probably the first time in a long time I started to feel like myself. Just continue trying to get yourself into a good routine – you will be great!

  3. I think everyone has had a point where they feel like that – I know that just when I think I have things organized/schedules figured out, something ALWAYS happens that throws me off track. I just got a fitbit flex and I never realized how much walking I do in a regular day. I also love that I can be connected to my sister and her fitbit because we are competitive with each other and how many steps we get in a week lol.

  4. Hang in there friend! I think any major life change can cause feeling of losing yourself, trouble getting into a groove etc. Just know that the toughest parts sound like they’re behind you and now you can focus on yourself and your family and settling into the NEW routine! Hugs 😉

  5. I can totally relate to your post. I’m in need of a career change, which feels like a major risk to me. But, it is necessary for me in order to be happy and have time for MY life (hobbies, husband, family, friends, starting a family…). It’s scary and like you I wish there was a map for these times in life. But, we are both smart, strong, and worthy people and we will get there. 🙂 You are headed in the right direction and will make it happen! Best wishes.

  6. I’ve definitely been in your shoes before in the way that you are feeling. We recently moved in August, and my commute jumped from 10 minutes of driving (if that) to almost an hour. It’s a lot to adjust to, and it’s completely changed my gym routine. I feel tired a lot and work is stressful, so by the time I get home – I just want to stay there.

    I’ve been searching to find ways to “restore the balance” in my life amongst these changes, so I feel I relate to your post pretty well. Just know that these hurdles will happen, yet you will always find a way to get back on track. I’ll bet it will be sooner than you think <3

  7. I can totally relate to this! I haven’t had to do a big move in YEARS, but I am super bad at change. When things do change I tend to kind of lose my motivation and myself. It seems that taking that first step to get back on track or do something for yourself is always the hardest.

  8. thinking of you! Since i’ve never moved within the same city/town before, I don’t have any advice to offer. I do know that a big change takes time before you can feel settled and get your routine going again. The first step (that sounds so cliche) is recognizing where you’re at and then going from there, so it sounds like you’re already in a better place.

  9. Hang in there lady. Sunny days are coming again. I can only imagine how much work and stress it is to move with a kid, but hooray it’s over. Long commutes are no fun, but I”m sure you’ll find your happy zone. Sending you a hug!

  10. Thinking of you! We went through something very similar. It will get better. I’m such a creature of habit so to have things tossed up in the air and to say “fall where it may” is hard! It will settle soon. Promise.
    Have a great weekend!

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I’m Jess! I’m a working mama of two sweet sisters living in the DC area. This is my space to share inspiration, real stories of working motherhood, recipes, style, and more! I can’t start my day without coffee and always try to show the real side of motherhood – the good and the challenging. I’m so glad you’re here – thanks for following along on my journey!

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